Sunday, 17 October 2010

-Go easy on yourself, for all affairs are determined by Allah’s decree.

Muslims do not believe in the concept of "vicarious atonement" but rather believe in the law of personal responsibility. Islam teaches that each person is responsible for his or her own actions. On the Day of Judgment Muslims believe that every person will be resurrected and will have to answer to God for their every word, thought, and deed. Consequently, a practicing Muslim is always striving to be righteous.

“The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`
Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.”


Marriage (Nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant (muttaqoon Ghalithun) as expressed in Quran 4:21). The marriage contract in Islam is not a sacrament. It is revocable.

Both parties mutually agree and enter into this contract. Both bride and groom have the liberty to define various terms and conditions of their liking and make them a part of this contract.

The company of a good friend is like an owner of musk; if you don’t buy anything, you will get the smell of it.
The company of a bad friend is like the blacksmith’s bellows; if you are not affected by its black dirt, you will be touched by its smoke.
.............–Prophet Muhammad (saw).

Nikah is a great bounty from Allah Ta’aala. The affairs of this world and the hereafter are put in order through marriage. There is a lot of wisdom and many benefits in marriage. A person saves himself from sinning and his heart is put at ease. He does not have any evil intentions and his thoughts do not begin to wander and stray. The greatest virtue is that there are only benefits and only rewards in this. This is because a husband and wife’s sitting together and engaging in a loving conversation, joking with each other, etc. is better than nafl Salat.

The Prophet (saw.) was once asked, "What is more important than prayer?" He replied, "The spirit of prayer" - the spirit that animates the prayer. He was asked what is more important than fasting - he replied, the spirit of fasting. For each question concerning an Islamic practice the answer was the same - because the spirit brings the action to life and unfolds its potentials. Without this animating spirit, the prayer is only movement, and the fasting only hunger. But when spirit enters, when a pure and concentrated intention enters, the action is transformed - the prayer gains the potential to become a mirage (an elevating spiritual journey), and the one fasting approaches towards the potential to witness Laylat ul Qadr (the night of destiny - a night when blessings from the spiritual world descend to this world).

So what is more important than marriage? It is the spirit of marriage, the intention which underlies it, the treasures which it contains hidden within it but which must be brought out and realized by the married couple themselves.

The Qur’an provides the signposts and way marks for learning about this potential. It says:

"It is He who created you from a single soul, And made its mate of like nature in order that you might dwell with her in love...."(7:189) So the male and female complete each other - together they make a single self and this is how they must strive to make their lives together - as if they are one being, one person, one spirit.

The Qur'an says: "Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them." (2:187) So a husband and wife complete each other - each one takes on a new aspect of their humanity, a new facet and depth to their personality by entering into marriage and this is symbolized in this verse. Garments also conceal the body and protect the wearer so that a husband and wife are each other's protectors and helpers and each of them safeguards their partner's honor shaping the state of marriage into a haven and a sanctuary where each should feel safe and secure, sheltered in one another's care and guardianship.

The Qur’an also says "And of everything we created a pair that happily you may remember." (Qur'an 51:49) The word for spouse, "zawj", (this is the word that is used in the marriage ceremony, the Nikah ceremony) - the word zawj literally means one part of a pair - and when the pair come together and act in concert with one another, then concealed potentials within them, potentials that were impossible to realize while they were apart make themselves evident. This is true throughout creation. And human marriage in the Qur'an is considered a reflection of a nature and tendency that exists at all levels of creation. When something is created as one part of a pair it is clearly incomplete without the other - as the Qur'an states, "He himself created the pair, male and female." (Qur'an 53:45)
Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"There are three whom Allah must help: the Mujaahid in the path of Allah, the reporter (of a message) who wishes to discharge his responsibility and the one seeking marriage in order to guard his modesty."

1- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`O young people! Whoever among you can support a wife should marry, for that is more modest for the gaze and safer for your private parts.'

(Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari)

2-Anas bin Malik:

“A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where we are from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)."

(Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

3- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."


4- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper".

(Bukhari and Muslim)

5- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“Nikah (marriage) is my Sunna. He who shuns my Sunna is not of me.”

(Muslim)

6- 'Uthman (b.'Affan) R.A. reported it directly from Allah's Apostle (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:

“A Muhrim should neither marry (in that state) nor make the proposal of marriage.”

(Muslim)

7- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

When Musa alayhi salaam fled from Egypt and arrived in median... he was distraught... he had nothing... no money... no family... no acquaintances... no place to stay... and NO WIFE

The made the following du’aa:

"Rabbi, inni ilaa ma anzaltahu ila ya min Khairun faqeer."

"O My Lord, i am in great need of that which you have sent down for me of good."

Now, granted, the mufassiroon have explained that he made this du’aa to Allah because he was hungry and in great need... really basic needs... and it doesn’t seem like he was asking for a wife... however, right thereafter, one of the two girls whom he had drawn water from the well for came and told him that her father was inviting him. So he went and the father hired him to work for him and married one of his daughters to him. And so Allah gave Him the good that He had sent down for him... and even more than what he was originally seeking!!

In addition, I recommend in general that you begin praying tahajjud, even if just a little bit, and ask Allah in the last third of the night to help you get married. And also make du’aa to him in your sujud and take advantage of the times when du’aa is answered such as sujud and between the adhan and the Iqamah. Make sincere du’aa from your heart; ask Allah with His Beautiful Names and His Lofty Attributes. Follow the etiquettes of du’aa such as praising and extolling Allah and sending Salah upon His Messenger sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam.

"Go easy on yourself, for all affairs are determined by Allah’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will NEVER come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it CANNOT flee" ['Umar bin al Khattab] (R.A.).

May your vows and this marriage be blessed?

May it be sweet milk?
this marriage, sweet drink and halvah.

May this marriage offer fruit and shade?
Like the date palm.

May this marriage be full of laughter?
your every day a day in paradise.

May this marriage be a sign of compassion?
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.

May this marriage have a fair face and a good name, an omen as welcome as the moon in a clear evening sky....

May spirit enter and mingle in this marriage.
- Rumi.

May Allah (Subhanahu WA Tala) give spouse of their choice to dear sisters and brothers in Islam? Ameen.

May Allah make our efforts sincere and keep us all on the straight path...........

Feel free to Share the information here with everyone you know,
And earn Sawab-e-Jariya...May Allah swt make it a source of Sawab-e-Jariya for u and me .Ameen

P.S.: "Have fun praying    don’t forget to make dua for me.

3 comments:

Hamid said...

salamunalaikum akhee.

Mashallah barakallah!!!
highly beneficial and informative post.
Jazakallahu khairan kaseera for posting this.

Blue Pearl said...

Alhumdulillah great post. Allahu A3lam (Allah knows best)

Sienna Hurst said...

I have read several just right stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much attempt you set to create any such wonderful informative site.


Free Online Quran Teaching