The best
greeting I can start with is the greeting of Islam, and the greeting of Islam
is peace.
So, peace and mercy be upon you.
A’udhu Billaahi minash shaytánir rajeem.
Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim, Al hamdu lillaahi
Rabbil 'Aalameen. Was salatu was Salamu alá Ashraf IL
mursaleen.
Sayyidina WA Nabi’na wamoulanaa Muhammadin wa’ alá aalihee WA
Sahbihee wasallam.
Practicing Muslim men and women are struggling to
find suitable partners in U.K.
Why Practicing
Muslim men and women are are having a hard time finding someone to spend the
rest of their life with.
The Big question is why?
Marriage is very important for Muslims, and Muslims
are generally very family oriented.
This ideal can be traced in the Hadith, “Marriage is
half of religion.”
The traditional structure for finding a partner is
falling apart as it is no longer accepted by younger Muslims.
However, this structure has not been replaced by
something else,
And now many young educated European Muslims find
themselves in a situation where they cannot get married at all.
Different reasons seem to be holding each one back
respectively, but the end result of sadness and confusion is usually the same?
So many family's and friends are looking and looking
but cannot find anyone.
For many Muslims, the process of finding a spouse can
sometimes prove challenging and frustrating.
During this
time not only do brothers and sisters have to wrestle with their own personal
quirks,
But they also have expectations about the potential
mates they are considering.
.Finding a spouse is difficult for educated career-focused
Muslim men and women who may not have
Had many contacts with other Muslims but now is a
difficulty for most in the UK
as many men are looking to find wives overseas.Why?
Main problem...
The main problem is the lack of service in the Masjid
regarding marriage.
A simple idea would be to have a box where people
looking to get married can post their contact details
And a description about themselves along with brief
details on what sort of spouse they are looking for/want to avoid.
Filling out a guided form may even be a better idea.
There is a problem with the system - there are no
links in the community,
The Masjid doesn’t have any services set up and if
they do there aren't enough efforts being exerted.
Most secure way to find someone to marry was to consult
friends in a sort of personal networking,
A method considered acceptable for women as well.
In this
networking, other married couples play a key role, as they could transmit
information across gender barriers, so to speak.
This kind of networking also worked in Islamic organizations.
What the Mosque should offer:
The mosque should provide an introduction service for
Muslims of all ages and ethnic backgrounds.
Clients should be able to find their ideal partner
via the mosque's Marriage Bureau.
Volunteers
using a database of registered prospective partners and initiated meetings.
The mosque should also provide marriage registration
services cementing partnerships according to Islamic and civil matrimony.
The mosque should be linked with the Registrar of
marriages for conducting legally recognized civil Muslim marriages and issues
certificates on behalf of the Registrar.
Mosque should have a Muslim Marriage Events Day
Mosque should
also arrange Muslim Marriage Events, at least one in a month.
These events can be to be very effective and quick
way of finding suitable marriage partners.
i.e . . . .
Individuals normally come with their family members or "Mehrams" and
have one to one meeting with the prospects.
Additionally, university Islamic societies could also
organize matchmaking in this way
Or set up a forum on their website which is
moderated.
Each person could be identified, for security
purposes, by their student ID card number
And they could look through profiles of those
available for marriage.
Men as well as Women are sitting around waiting on
parents or not knowing where to go.
If the ones who are married already could help would
be nice but everyone's busy.
There are definitely a lot of good people out there,
Just got to find a system that will help people
connect and spread info about those who are searching.
There are many different ways of finding a spouse.
Many people
prefer to go through the recommendations of family members.
However, if your family is unable to help in this
process, then you are perfectly entitled to take your own initiative.
1. Ask your married friends if their husbands know of
any single brothers.
Make sure you let your friends know what you are
looking for in a spouse.
2. It is also fine to meet someone through school or
work
Or a community gathers as long as the parameters of
modest behavior are observed.
If you meet
someone you would like to discuss marriage with, just arrange for the brother
to meet your Wali or family.
3. There are several online matrimonial sites where
you can look for potential suitors.
I can't vouch for each and every website.
A note of caution about online matrimonial: The
nature of cyberspace lends itself to anonymity.
It's very easy
for people to misrepresent themselves online.
Trust your instincts. If you feel that something's
not right with someone,
Then don't pursue discussions with them.
Never give out your personal information.
Once you feel that someone has potential, get that
person in touch with your Wali or family.
Make sure that your Wali or family thoroughly checks
this person out before you proceed with the first meeting.
And always insist that the potential suitor provide
references.
This advice applies to whoever you meet, whether it's
through a website or at school or work or anything else.
As to methods of communication, this depends on what
you feel comfortable with.
If you find someone through an online matrimonial, I
believe that initial communication will proceed via email.
You may want to correspond with the person through
email before you decide to meet.
Once you feel like this person really has potential,
Then it's
important to arrange a face-to-face meeting in the presence of your Wali or
family members.
It is entirely up to you how often and for how long
you meet.
A short meeting where everyone introduces themselves
And establishes common ground may be better than a
long meeting at first.
If you both decide that you'd like to meet again,
then you can have longer meetings to discuss issues of importance.
Once
again, it's important to consider two things:
1. Always meet in the presence of your Wali or family
members.
This is for your protection. Your father is your
natural Wali, or guardian.
If he doesn't want to take this role, then I would
suggest your grandfather, brother, or uncle.
If none are available, then it is imperative that you
ask a pious, mature brother from the community to act as your Wali.
Once you find a potential suitor, make sure to direct
him to your Wali.
2. If you correspond via email or talk on the phone,
make sure that your conversations are reflective of Islamic propriety.
Once you feel attracted to each other and are quite
sure you want to marry,
Then I would
suggest that you cut down emailing and phone conversations.
This is better for both of you in terms of Adab.
At this point, it is better to have serious meetings
in the presence of your chaperone to hash out the final details of the wedding.
Also we should remind ourselves whilst searching
And making efforts that Allah will reward those who
seek the good for His pleasure Insh’Allah.
Sabr, Du'a and Tawakkul in Allah; Insh’Allah a way
will be created in finding the right one.
As
per our knowledge, there is no specific verse or chapter that brings someone
love.
But, it is proved in Sunnah that increased
supererogatory acts such as prayers, fasting,
And making Hajj and Umra, bring the love of Allah,
His angels and other people.
Imam
al-Bukhari narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Holy Prophet Muhammad
(Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through
performing Nafal (praying or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) till
I love him.
When I love him I become his sense of hearing with
which he hears,
And his sense of sight with which he sees,
And his hand with which he grips, and his leg with
which he walks;
And if he asks Me, I will give him, and if he asks My
protection (Refuge), I will protect him; (i.e. give him My Refuge) ".
It is also narrated in a narration from Abu Hurairah
that the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel
saying: 'Allah loves so and so; O Gabriel, love him'. Gabriel would love him,
And then Gabriel would make an announcement among the
residents of the Heaven, 'Allah loves so and so,
Therefore, you
should love him also'. So, all the residents of the Heavens would love him
And then he is granted the pleasure of the people of
the earth".
Every believing woman's wish is to have a good
husband.
So asking for such a husband is not prohibited.
It is a kind of blessing; thus a woman can ask for
it. Allah mentioned the Du'a of pious people in Qur'an saying:
"And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us
from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes,
And make us leaders for the
Muttaqoon""[25:74].
Therefore, if a woman wants a good husband, she has
to seek him through legal ways in Shariah.
The first place of those ways is seeking refuge with Allah,
supplicating Him.
Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {I respond to
the invocations of the supplicant
When he calls on Me (without any mediator or
intercessor).}[2:186].
He also Says: {and your Lord said: "Invoke Me,
[i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I
will respond to your (invocation).}[40:60].
Supplicating Allah to gain goodness was the practice
of Prophets and Messengers.
Prophet Zakariyah (Alayhi Salaam) was an old man and
desired to have a child, so he asked Allah supplicating:
"…since my wife is barren. So give me from
yourself an heir, "[19:5].
Prophet Younus (Alayhi Salaam) did the same when a
big fish swallowed him, he said:
"Laa ilaha illa Anta [none has the right to be
worshipped but You (O Allah)], Glorified (and Exalted) are You [above all that
(evil) they associate with You]. Truly, I have been of the
wrong-doers."[21:87].
So, you have to do likewise; make Du'a and ask help
from Allah.
Then ask the pious you know to help you search for a
good husband.
Surely you will get what you desire, Insha Allah.
Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {…And
whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him,
He will make a way for him to get out (from every
difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. …
[Qur’an: [65:2, 3].
Know that blessing of Allah can not be obtained
except through His obedience.
I don't think this problem will ever come to an end
until and unless
We come back
to the teachings of our Master the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi
wasallam)
He commanded
the men to look for pious girl.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi
wasallam) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons:
Her wealth, her lineage (family status), her beauty
or her religious commitment; Choose the one who is religious and you will
prosper.”
{Sahih Bukhari, Book 62, Hadith Number 27
Her wealth is Iman and Modesty.
Her Linage is Islam
Her Beauty is obedient and loyalty
Her religion is Qur’an and Hadith.
So it is high time, the community takes up this
issue.
Pro-active role is needed from parents, Mosque,
activists and intellectuals to tackle the issue.
If a conscious effort is made, this issue can be
solved.
The Benefactor and Ya Allah, I ask of you (or I seek
refuge with You),
By Your Beautiful Names and Your Magnificent/Great
Attributes! Ya Allah,
Originator of
the heavens and the earth,
The ever living, the Self-subsisting
Lord of
Majesty, Bounty and Honor, Look towards us! Look towards us!
Look towards us! Through Your Mercy,
The Most Merciful of the Merciful. Ya Rab of the
Worlds.
“Ya Allah, I invoke You with all of Your beautiful
Names.
May Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala bless us and keep us
steadfast in the path of Righteousness.
Ya Allah, nothing is easy except what you've made
easy,
If you wish
you can make the difficult easy.
“My Lord! Truly, I am in need of whatever good that
You bestow on me!''
Allahumma laa sahla 'illa maal ja'altahu sahlan wa
'Anta taj'alul-hazna 'ithaa shi'ta sahlan.
Ya Allah, there is no ease other than what You make
easy. If You please You ease sorrow.
Ya Allah, the Wise, the Bestower of Wisdom
My friends Dua's are defined as any invocation or
prayer addressed to Almighty ALLAH Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD).
Through Dua, we strengthen our faith and our
relationship with Almighty ALLAH Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD).
We find many reassurances throughout the Qur’an for
those who make Dua.
Allah the Exalted, has said: "And your Lord
says: Pray unto me: and I will hear your prayer" (Qur’an 40:60)
Holy Prophet
Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam), said:
“If you trust Allah with right kind of Tawakkul,
He will provide you sustenance as He provides for the
birds –
They go out in the morning with empty stomachs
And come back in the evening with full stomachs.”
(Hadith in Al-Tirmidhi)
Any good is from Almighty Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala
(GOD) & the mistakes were from me.
Please pray
for me and ask Almighty Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) to forgive me.
May Almighty
Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) guide all of us to His Truth?
May Allah
Subhanahu wata`aalaa grant us what is best in this world and the next!
Action speaks
louder then words my friend’s practice Islam the way of the Holy Prophet
Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) did.
May Allah
Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) help us to do that which He loves and which pleases
Him?
May Allah
Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) make our efforts sincere and keep us all on the
straight path...........
Feel free to Share the information here with everyone you know,
And earn Sawab-e-Jariya... (Sadqah Jariya)
May Almighty Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala make it a source of
Sawab-e-Jariya for YOU and me .Ameen?
..... P.S.:
"Have fun praying don’t forget to make Dua for me"...
