I Seek refuge in Allah from knowledge that brings no wisdom, from a heart that lacks kindness, from desires that bring discontent, and from supplications that go unanswered.- Messenger of Allah May Allah's peace and blessings be on him .
All human beings have a series of needs that they strive to satisfy.
What Happens if You Don't Take Personal Responsibility?
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings of Allah be upon the Messenger, his household and companions.
The greatest goal of Islam is to extend kindness to self and kindness to the creatures. It is this goal that determines the position of one before Allah in this world and the Hereafter. It is also this kindness that determines man’s position among his fellow human beings. All obligatory and forbidden things are based on this kindness. Allah has made it obligatory in all His legislations.
The Messenger of Allah said, “Allah has ordained kindness on everything. When you kill (an animal) kill (it) kindly and when you slaughter (an animal), slaughter (it) kindly. Let anyone of you sharpen his knife and let him give rest to his slaughtered animal.”
The Prophet’s statement, “Allah ordained kindness on everything” have two meanings:
One: That Allah has ordained perfection on every obligatory duty and that a Muslim should do it in the best perfect form; that he should Endeavour to do as much supererogatory aspects of it as he can and that he should refrain from all aspects of forbidden things. Allah says,
“Leave (O mankind, all kinds of) sin, open and secret.”
(Al-Anaam 6:120)
Performing obligatory acts in the perfect form and refraining from forbidden things are the greatest acts of doing kindness to oneself. The greatest act of kindness to oneself is to actualize the belief in the Oneness of Allah by worshipping Him alone without associating any partner to Him. Other things follow this great fundamental.
Personal Responsibility
Islam charges every individual man and woman with personal responsibility to make his or her own way to heaven or hell by being good and doing good, or by being evil and doing evil in this life. Life on earth has been said to be the season for cultivation of the life hereafter. As one sows here so shall one reap in the hereafter, in the life after death? As the right way to eternal bliss has been clearly shown, all have been warned through the following about the Day of Final Judgment:
On that day shall come out people (from their graves) in groups to be shown their (own) deeds. (99:6)
Then he who hath done an atom-weight of good shall see It. (99:7)
And he who hath done an atom-weight of evil shall see it. (99:8)
From this comes great encouragement to do well and to shun evil.
Did you ever stop to think that everything you are or ever will be is completely up to you? Just imagine.
You are where you are because of who you are. Everything that exists in your life exists because of you, because of your behavior, words and actions.
Because you have freedom of choice and because you have chosen each and every circumstance of your life, you are completely responsible for all of your success and failure, your happiness and unhappiness, you’re present and future.
It takes a big person to accept outwardly and inwardly that they screwed up. I’m not saying we should never blame other people. Sometimes others are at fault and they need to know it and take responsibility. But being able to accept responsibility when that’s right means we actually become less helpless and passive.
If everything is someone else’s fault, then what part do I play in my own life? Are my actions entirely without consequence? Am I that powerless? Or do all my actions only lead to good outcomes? Am I an entirely new type of human being?
Knowing we can accept responsibility when things go wrong means we can also accept credit when things go well. We do, as individuals, have an effect on life; and that’s a good thing.
But we need to develop the capacity to be objective enough about ourselves to avoid assuming we could never possibly have created problems ourselves. We also need to distinguish between accepting responsibility and punishing ourselves unduly.
You know you are not accepting personal responsibility if you do the opposite: blame others for your problems, life situation, hardships, character flaws, and just about everything and anything else. Rather than accepting the "blame" or responsibility for how your life is, you make excuses. Everything and anybody is to blame -- except you.
Sound familiar? You may be blaming others more than you think. Have you ever:
Blamed traffic/truck drivers/slow drivers for being late to an appointment?
Blamed your hectic schedule for the reason you've put on a couple of pounds?
Everyone is wrong but you.
Blamed your spouse for your bad day?
People who take responsibility, on the other hand, would have handled these situations as follows:
*
Admitted, that they should have left a few minutes earlier for their appointment.
*
Acknowledged that, while being stressed because of a busy time, they've been skipping the gym and eating junk food more often.
*
Accepted, that no one is to blame for their bad day, other than themselves.
When you constantly blame others, view yourself as a victim and feel others are causing all of your hardships, you inevitably surround yourself with anger, resentment and negative thoughts -- all of which are surefire ways to bring on fatigue, sadness, stress and even chronic disease.
When we take responsibility, we admit we are the ones responsible for the choices we make. We, not other people or events, are responsible for the way we think and feel. It is our life, and we are in charge of it. We are free to enjoy it or disdain it. No, we are not responsible for all that happens to us, but we are responsible for how we think, feel, and act when they happen.
Why did God make us so fleet-footed? Some would argue it is to allow us to dodge, duck, and run from responsibility! Why would anyone want to do that? Well, many people associate responsibility with duty and obligations, which, in turn, are thought of as burdens. But personal responsibility is not a burden, it is a blessing. This becomes clear when we understand that PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS NOTHING OTHER THAN THE FREEDOM TO CREATE OUR OWN LIVES. Yes, responsibility is equated with freedom and power. Once we awaken to this fact, we become liberated and empowered. Once we become aware of this truth, we shed our victim mentality and gain the power to transform ourselves.
Here are the most common errors in thinking that add to a lifetime of misery:
Over Generalized Thinking, Over Generalized statements are exaggerations.
For example, 'He NEVER considers my opinion.
You ALWAYS interrupt me. She ALWAYS tells me what to do. I have to do ALL the work. I NEVER get a break. EVERYBODY picks on me.' Watch your language for 'never, always, should, everybody, 'I can't stand it and I can't take it anymore.'
Making an Assumption and Running with it. What you assume is only what you assume. Assumptions may or may not be true. There may be other reasons why things happen. Generate multiple reasons why you think something has happened. Check out your assumption with others to get to the facts of the issue. Jumping to conclusions is another form of making an assumption and acting on it as if it were true.
Entitlement thinking, this way of viewing the world is to believe that your way is right and is the only way. If others do no agree with you, anger comes up. The belief is 'you must agree with me and do things my way or I have the right (I'm entitled) to get angry. Empathy is the ability to see things from the perspective of another person and feel compassion. The only person we can change is our self--to dwell on how others do not meet our needs keeps you in anger or depression.
The next time you feel stuck in a conversation, try asking yourself these questions. They can help you change your perspective, step out of the infinite negative loop, and take a new kind of action. Below are some challenging questions to use as a guide?
* What action can I take that doesn't depend on what my partner says or does?
* Can I talk about my own experience without blaming my partner?
* Can I get curious about my partner's experience, even when I don't agree?
* Can I let go of the need to be right?
If something doesn’t work out, it’s easy to get creative and find some reason why it’s someone else’s fault. Learn to relax with not actually knowing for a while why something worked out the way it did. Tolerate the temporary uncertainty of just not knowing until you get a wider perspective on things.
get angry the first person isn’t an effective way of going about things. Wait for a bit by telling yourself: “Okay, this is the situation at the moment. Now, what’s the very best thing I can now do in these circumstances…?”
"Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."
It takes a big person to accept outwardly and inwardly that they screwed up. I’m not saying we should never blame other people. Sometimes others are at fault and they need to know it and take responsibility. But being able to accept responsibility when that’s right means we actually become less helpless and passive.
If everything is someone else’s fault, then what part do I play in my own life? Are my actions entirely without consequence? Am I that powerless? Or do all my actions only lead to good outcomes? Am I an entirely new type of human being?
Knowing we can accept responsibility when things go wrong means we can also accept credit when things go well. We do, as individuals, have an effect on life; and that’s a good thing.
But we need to develop the capacity to be objective enough about ourselves to avoid assuming we could never possibly have created problems ourselves. We also need to distinguish between accepting responsibility and punishing ourselves unduly.
You know you are not accepting personal responsibility if you do the opposite: blame others for your problems, life situation, hardships, character flaws, and just about everything and anything else. Rather than accepting the "blame" or responsibility for how your life is, you make excuses. Everything and anybody is to blame -- except you.
Sound familiar? You may be blaming others more than you think. Have you ever:
Blamed traffic/truck drivers/slow drivers for being late to an appointment?
Blamed your hectic schedule for the reason you've put on a couple of pounds?
Blamed your spouse for your bad day?
People who take responsibility, on the other hand, would have handled these situations as follows:
They should have left a few minutes earlier for their appointment.
Acknowledged that, while being stressed because of a busy time, they've been skipping the gym and eating junk food more often.
Accepted, that no one is to blame for their bad day, other than themselves.
When you constantly blame others, view yourself as a victim and feel others are causing all of your hardships, you inevitably surround yourself with anger, resentment and negative thoughts -- all of which are surefire ways to bring on fatigue, sadness, stress and even chronic disease.
Here are the most common errors in thinking that add to a lifetime of misery:
Over Generalized Thinking. Over Generalized statements are exaggerations.
For example, 'He NEVER considers my opinion.
You ALWAYS interrupt me. She ALWAYS tells me what to do. I have to do ALL the work. I NEVER get a break. EVERYBODY picks on me.' Watch your language for 'never, always, should, everybody, 'I can't stand it and I can't take it anymore.'
Making an Assumption and Running with it. What you assume is only what you assume. Assumptions may or may not be true. There may be other reasons why things happen. Generate multiple reasons why you think something has happened. Check out your assumption with others to get to the facts of the issue. Jumping to conclusions is another form of making an assumption and acting on it as if it were true.
Entitlement thinking, this way of viewing the world is to believe that your way is right and is the only way. If others do no agree with you, anger comes up. The belief is 'you must agree with me and do things my way or I have the right (I'm entitled) to get angry. Empathy is the ability to see things from the perspective of another person and feel compassion. The only person we can change is our self--to dwell on how others do not meet our needs keeps you in anger or depression.
he next time you feel stuck in a conversation, try asking yourself these questions. They can help you change your perspective, step out of the infinite negative loop, and take a new kind of action. Below are some challenging questions to use as a guide?
* What action can I take that doesn't depend on what my partner says or does?
* Can I talk about my own experience without blaming my partner?
* Can I get curious about my partner's experience, even when I don't agree?
* Can I let go of the need to be right?
If something doesn’t work out, it’s easy to get creative and find some reason why it’s someone else’s fault. Learn to relax with not actually knowing for a while why something worked out the way it did. Tolerate the temporary uncertainty of just not knowing until you get a wider perspective on things.
Jumping to blame the first person isn’t an effective way of going about things. Wait for a bit by telling yourself: “Okay, this is the situation at the moment. Now, what’s the very best thing I can now do in these circumstances…?”
"Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."
Thus, on the basic moral characteristics, Islam builds a higher system of morality by virtue of which mankind can realize its greatest potential. Islam purifies the soul from self-seeking egotism, tyranny, wantonness and indiscipline. It creates God-conscious men, devoted to their ideals, possessed of piety, abstinence and discipline and uncompromising with falsehood, It induces feelings of moral responsibility and fosters the capacity for self control. Islam generates kindness, generosity, mercy, sympathy, peace, disinterested goodwill, scrupulous fairness and truthfulness towards all creation in all situations. It nourishes noble qualities from which only good may be expected.
May Allah make our efforts sincere and keep us all on the straight path...........
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And earn Sawab-e-Jariya...May Allah swt make it a source of Sawab-e-Jariya for u and me .Ameen
P.S.: "Have fun praying don’t forget to make dua for me."
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