Rights of Parents (and Duties of children) - Islam

Al-Hamdu Lillaahi Rabbil ‘Alamin was-Salatu was-Salamu ‘alá Asra fil Anbiyaa wal Mursaleen.

  “There is no helper but Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD),

 No guide but (Prophet Muhammad Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam)

 Messenger of Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD),

 No provision but Taqwa.

        “My family, my possessions

        And my life is sacrificed for my most beloved Holy Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) and his honor.”

•        Rights of Parents (and Duties of children)

 (1) Rights of Parents (and Duties of children)

Helping your parents is better then performing Jihad.

Abdullah ibn Umar  narrates:

A  person came to the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)  and said,

“I have intentions of going on Jihad.”

The Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)   asked him,

‘Are any of your parents alive?’

 He replied, ‘Yes.’

The Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)  said,

 ‘Do Jihad by helping your parents.’

From this we can gather how important parents really are.

(SubhanAllah)

Islam is not just prayer,

fasting, paying Zakat, and going for Hajj.

These are the foundations of Islam;

however Islam is a very comprehensive

and all-encompassing religion that covers all aspects of life.

 In that sense, Islam is a way of life

and a code of teachings and rules that makes life better.

     

The Qur’an and the Sunnah are the sources of guidance

and knowledge for us, and as such,

We need to resort to the Qur’an

and refer to the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)   in all of our actions

And read them regularly to seek guidance.

Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) is our Creator

and  it was through our parents that He created  us.

This is the reason why He has given so many rights to the parents.

It is stated, “Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) has ordered

that do not worship anyone but Him and be dutiful towards your parents.” 

As Muslims we must  know that Islam recognises family as a basic social unit.

Along with the husband and wife relationship the Parent and child relationship is the most important one.

To maintain any social relationship both parties must have some clear-cut Rights as well as obligations.

The relationships are reciprocal.

Duties of one side are the Rights of the other side.

So in Parent-child relationship

the Rights of parents are the obligations (duties) of the children and vice versa,

the Rights of children are obligations (duties) of parents.

Islam clearly defines the Rights of Parents (which mean duties of children)

and obligations of parents (which means Rights of children).

It is clear that after Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD),

Parents are the persons who give us innumerable favors.

They provide protection, food and clothing to the newly born.

The mother sacrifices her comforts and sleep to provide comfort to her children.

The father works hard to provide for their physical, educational and psychological (and spiritual) needs.

It is a matter of common courtesy that if a person does you some favor you feel obliged to him.

Verbally you say ‘thank you’ to him. You try to repay and compensate him for his gifts and favors.

You feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

So it is with Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) and with parents.

Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD)’s favors cannot be counted

or repaid except by thanking Him and obeying His orders.

After Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) our parents deserve our thanks

and obedience for the favors they had done us.

That’s why Qur'an lays stress on feeling grateful to parents, and doing good to them.

 “And your Lord has ordained that you shall worship none save Him and shall do your parents a good turn.

” What does a ‘good turn’ mean?

It includes obeying them, speaking softly, avoiding harsh words or harsh tone,

giving them company when they are lonely, caring for their physical

and psychological needs (especially in their old age),

and making Dua (prayers) to Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD)

that He may bless them and have mercy on them.

here we will learn the important of which parents has more rights father or mother?

A man came to the  Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)  and asked him, ‘My mother is very old.

I feed her with my hands and I help her do ablution and I sit her down on my shoulders.

Have I done enough to repay her for the things she has done for me?’

The  Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)  said, ‘No. You have not even repaid her a bit.

But Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) will give you a small amount of deeds for what you have done.’

Such is the value and status of a mother

and this is because nothing can compensate

for the chores she has born for her child since pregnancy to his upbringing. 

As between parents the mother has more rights than the father.

The reason is apparent.

Mother has borne the child’s burden during pregnancy,

has undergone birth pains in delivering the baby,

has sacrificed her own comforts to provide comfort to her children,

has looked after them and felt worried for their well-being.

That is why mother deserves our good treatment more than the father.

A Tradition of the  Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam)

 tells us that a Companion asked the  Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam) ,

“ Who deserves my good treatment most?”

“Your mother”, said the  Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu `alayhi wa salaam) .

“Who next?” “Your mother”.

“Who next?” “Your mother”.

“Who after that?” “Your father”.

This means that the mother deserves three times more good treatment from her children than the father deserves.

Another Tradition wants us to extend kind treatment to close relations on the mother’s side also (even to her friends).

A famous Hadith (Tradition) says, “Paradise lies under the feet of the mother”.

This means doing good to our mother lead us to Paradise.

.....As to the reward for doing good to our parents a Hadith mentions the following story:

“Three persons of ancient days were once traveling in a mountainous region.

The rain, thunder and lightning made them take refuge in a cave.

Mudslide made a stone block the opening to the cave.

 The persons were entrapped inside.

When the storm stopped they tried to push back the heavy stone to get out of the cave

but they could not. They wondered ‘what to do now’.

At last seeing that their joint efforts also cannot move the stone

 they decided to pray to Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) sincerely.

One of them suggested, ‘each one of us should relate one good thing he has done in his life

and beg Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) to move the stone.

One said, “One night my old mother asked me to bring a cup of milk for her.

During the time I milked the goat and brought the milk to her she had gone to sleep.

I did not think it proper to disturb her.

So I stood by her bedside for the whole night till she got up in the morning

and then I offered her the cup of milk. O Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD),

 if this act of mine was approved by You please shift this stone.

” The stone slipped a little but not enough to let them get out.

Similarly, the second and the third man mentioned an act of goodness

and prayed to Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) to shift the stone.

The stone slipped down and the entry to the cave opened up.

So the men got out.

This story shows how service to one’s parents leads to blessings

from Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) and rescue from troubles.

(1) Right to be respected and obeyed:

Parents have a right to be respected and obeyed by children.

All parents are well wishers of children.

They issue orders and instructions that are in the best interest of children (though children might think otherwise).

So it is the duty of children to obey their orders and act accordingly.

Some children listen to parental orders but do not act upon these or show laziness in carrying out these orders.

This causes annoyance to parents.

Children should remember that annoying one’s parents can lead to Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD)'s wrath.

(2) Right to scold and rebuke:

It is instinctive obligation of parents to protect their children from physical and moral harm.

If a small child puts its hand in fire it is natural urge for you to push the child back,

even if the child does not want. It is in child’s interest. So it is with parents.

They are duty bound to protect their children in every way, physical, intellectual, moral.

If the children have a temptation to do an act that is not in their long-term interest

it is the duty of the parents to keep them back from that act or behavior.

To this end they may resort to advice, rebuke, scolding, even hitting them.

Good children should take all this ‘harshness’ in their own interest.

If parents scold them they should bear it calmly.

No rude replies, no arguing, no explanations, no comments unless asked for.

Parental advice should be listened to and acted upon, even if against children’s own wishes.

(3) Right to be looked after.

Parents have looked after the children for decades.

So it is the duty of grown-up children to repay them by way of caring for them

and looking to their physical and financial needs. A Qur'an verse says:

“People ask you (O Prophet) how should they spend.

Say, ‘whatever you spend should be spent on Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’aala (GOD) (in good cause),

on parents, near relatives, on orphans, destitute and travelers (who fall short of money in foreign lands)”.

(4) Right to be helped:

As parents grow old their energies also decline.

So it is the duty of children to help their parents in any household chore in which they can help.

Sons can help in lifting heavy things, cleaning home, arranging things etc.

Daughters can help in mother’s household work—cooking, washing, cleaning, serving food etc.

With good children such help should come automatically, not when asked for.

 Whenever you see your mother or father doing something extend a helping hand to her/him without their asking.

This is what Islam expects from children.

(5) Right to kind words/good behavior:

Qur'an urges children to be soft-spoken towards parents

and show respect and kindness in their behavior towards parents.

Unfortunate as it is, the Western societies have forgotten these lessons.

Young children are rude towards parents and show disobedience.

As the parents grow old they drive them out from their homes and put them in “Senior Citizens Homes”.

Grown up children cannot spare time to attend to the needs of old parents.

The busy Western life has led to a break-up of the family unit (so much upheld in Islam).

As Muslims we expect our children to adhere to Islamic values

and show respect, obedience, kindness, leniency and care towards parents, especially in their old age.

Children must not forget the favors and sacrifices of their parents.

As good mannered persons they must feel and remain obliged towards parents

and try to repay them by kind words and deeds, even with money and material needs.

These are the Rights of Parents due from their children (or the Duties of Children towards parents).

These Rights and obligations are not found in Islam only.

Such values are to be found in all true religions.

Qur'an mentions Hazrat Yahiya (John the Baptist) A.S. as

“kind towards his parents, not tough and disobedient”.

Similarly Hazrat Isa (Jesus) A.S. is quoted saying to his people,

“God made me kind towards my mother (Mary) and did not make me tough and disobedient”.

Hazrat Yusuf (Joseph) A.S., as a royal Minister in Egypt,

called his old, poor parents from their far off home

and offered them seats on a high platform

(he did not feel shy of behaving in a kind manner to poor parents in the presence of his officials).

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